Post by Gator on Feb 15, 2019 8:14:01 GMT -5
Sibling rivalry - Kids express their jealousy and insecurity by squabbling and whining about each other. They test the parent(s) to see which child is loved, valued more and try their best to draw the adult(s) into the conflict. Do not fall for this unless blood is drawn. Sit with them and make them talk it through.
A cool way to deal with this is to set up activities that force the children to cooperate with each other. It would be better if the activities were things that none of them are really good at so they have to learn together and rely on each other.
Parents in conflict- You two are the heads of the house and should be able as adults to find a way to resolve issues without screaming or cursing at each other. You are the children's sense of safety and well being, so if they see you upset and unable to handle things, they get scared. Children don't have a sense of tomorrow, so they think in this moment the sky is falling.
Find ways to resolve any conflicts the kids are aware of in front of them so they learn to trust that you can do it. Or better yet, don't have them in front of the kids. They feel tension, no matter how hard you try to reassure them. So explain that even adults have bad days and not to worry. That's your job as the parent.
Your core family - is you two and the kids so do not let anyone get in between you. No inlaw or outsider. Protect the unit by spending time and intimacy together. Quality time like dinner has been shown to have a positive impact on the kids, so long as it is a fun and happy atmosphere where you discuss the day, family plans... Light hearted but communicative. If you are on shifts hen breakfast works too, just get up early enough so you don't have to rush through it.
If you have a bad day (and you will), find a way to bring it to a close, and start the next day on a more positive note.
A cool way to deal with this is to set up activities that force the children to cooperate with each other. It would be better if the activities were things that none of them are really good at so they have to learn together and rely on each other.
Parents in conflict- You two are the heads of the house and should be able as adults to find a way to resolve issues without screaming or cursing at each other. You are the children's sense of safety and well being, so if they see you upset and unable to handle things, they get scared. Children don't have a sense of tomorrow, so they think in this moment the sky is falling.
Find ways to resolve any conflicts the kids are aware of in front of them so they learn to trust that you can do it. Or better yet, don't have them in front of the kids. They feel tension, no matter how hard you try to reassure them. So explain that even adults have bad days and not to worry. That's your job as the parent.
Your core family - is you two and the kids so do not let anyone get in between you. No inlaw or outsider. Protect the unit by spending time and intimacy together. Quality time like dinner has been shown to have a positive impact on the kids, so long as it is a fun and happy atmosphere where you discuss the day, family plans... Light hearted but communicative. If you are on shifts hen breakfast works too, just get up early enough so you don't have to rush through it.
If you have a bad day (and you will), find a way to bring it to a close, and start the next day on a more positive note.